Day: November 8, 2012

# Into the bar comes a grasshopper. The bartender says, “Hey we got a drink named after you””  “The grasshopper says, “Is that right? Why would anyone name a drink Bob?”

@ Patient: “I’m dead”.   Psychiatrist: “That is impossible. You are talking to me right now.”    Patient: “I’m dead”     Psychiatrist: “Go stand in front of that mirror and say, dead men don’t bleed, for the next three hours.”   At the end of that time the psychiatrist poked the man’s finger with a needle and it began to bleed.   Psychiatrist:  “Now, what does that prove?”      Patient: “Dead men do bleed.”

* One of my coworkers went for his annual medical exam and they gave him all the X-rays and probing and blood tests. The doc came out and said,  “I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”  ” How about the good news?”  “My son has been accepted to the Case medical school.”   “And the bad news?”   “You are going to pay for it.”