Is this California?
Boris Vishnevsky, a veteran Russian opposition politician, was gearing up to run in elections this month when he learned that two of his opponents would not only have the same name as him, but even the same facial hair in their official portraits. They are recruited doppelgangers. The 65-year-old is seeking to reelection to his seat in St. Petersburg’s Legislative Assembly and Boris accuses the Putin government of fielding “spoiler” candidates to confuse his voters and reduce his chance of winning. He said the two other Boris Vishnevskys had changed their names and surnames, and even altered their appearances in their election photographs to look more like him. The real Boris posted a photograph of the three of them on Twitter. A complaint by Vishnevsky demanding that his rivals use their previous names on the ballot so that the three candidates could be distinguished was rejected by the election commission. The commission said, “their different middle names were enough,” Pravda reported. “At each election for many years now we say that these were the dirtiest and most dishonest elections ever, and then the next one comes and we say the same phrase. It turns out the previous elections were better and today’s elections are even worse,” Boris said.
Holy Apparatchik!
In Povalikhino, a small town in rural Russia, official elections must have at least two candidates. So, Nikolai Loktev, the 58-year-old incumbent mayor, asked the city hall’s 35-year-old cleaning lady to join him on the ballot as a formality. Loktev’s plan didn’t work out quite as planned; Marina Udgodskaya earned 62% of the vote to Loktev’s 34%. A local said, “If we could have voted against everyone we would have done that, but we had the option to vote for Marina, so we did.” Initially, Udgodskaya was going to resign the position, she would have to fund a new election if she refused the new job. The mayor’s assistant has faith in the newly elected mayor, “I think she’ll cope. The whole village will help.” The Russian establishment pre-selects winners and losers, going to great lengths to prevent viable opponents from even appearing on the ticket.
Double trouble
Mr. Smith found a doppelganger of his wife.
Mr. Smith to the airline stewardess – “You look exactly like my wife.”
Air hostess feeling a bit agitated by that remark slapped him.
Mr. Smith – “What a coincidence, you even have the same temper.”
I saw a Steve Jobs doppelganger on a Spirit airlines flight today.
You could say that he was there, in Spirit.
The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.
Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
After the Russian election Putin meets with his staff:
Staff: “Sir Comrade Vlad, we have got good news and bad news for you.”
Putin: “I’m not scared of bad news, I’ve wrestled bears, tigers and a small rhino with my bare Russian hands. Hit me with the bad news!”
Staff: “Your opponent got 51% of the votes.”
Putin: “That is terrible news! What on earth can be the good news?!”
Staff: “You got 52%.”
June 10th Birthdays
1982 – Tara Lipinski, 1922 – Judy Garland, 1991- Tristan Mays, 1980 – Elizabeth Hurley
1972 – Sundar Pichai, 1982 – Jonathan Bennett, 1968 – Bill Burr, 1979 – Lee Brice