Day: April 7, 2014

* My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me that he drank more than usual the day before. “What is more than usual,” I asked. He responded, “A case.”  “You can drink a case of beer in a day?”   “Well,” he grumbled defensively, “it doesn’t take all day.”

+A foursome was putting when on to the green plopped another ball. As it was close to the cup one of the guys swept it in with his foot and smiled at his fellow players. In a few seconds a chubby golfer came puffing up and asked, “Did you see my ball?” The men all smiled and said “Yes.” “Where did it go” the sweating man asked. “It went right into the hole.” The fat man was incredulous and looked at the men and then walked over to the hole and sure enough the ball was in there. He picked it up and looked at the ball and looked down the fairway. Then he ran back to his group yelling, “Hey Joe, I got a nine.”

* One March day my wife said the house needed painting. “It’s still winter,” I replied. “Forget it.” In April, she told me she had bought some exterior latex, I said, “It was still too cold to paint”. In May, I heard her outside one day yelling for help.  We set up the ladder so she could start painting. I went inside to get a beer. As I sat in a lawn chair not far from where my wife was working, a neighbor passed by.  “Aren’t you ashamed?” She asked. “How can you sit there drinking beer while your wife is up on a ladder painting the house?” Glancing up at my wife, I responded, “She doesn’t like beer.”