April 8 Humor
I don’t believe all that health food stuff. I don’t want to be known as someone who only eats bean sprouts. I eat fat, that is what makes the body comfortable. Fat makes it possible for two people to be very, very close and not hurt each other.
# It was the first day of school and student son of a Japanese businessman entered the 7th grade. Teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said give me liberty or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for Toshiba’s hand waving “Patrick Henry 1775” said the boy. “OK, now, who said, government of the people by the people and for the people shall not perish from the face of the earth?” Again, no response from anyone except Toshiba: “Abraham Lincoln in 1863.” The teacher snapped of the class, “you should be ashamed. Toshiba who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do.” As she turned to write something on the blackboard she heard a loud whisper: “Damn Japanese.” She whirled around, “Who said that?” Toshiba put up his hand, “Lee Iacoca in 1982”, he said.
* Hall of fame pitcher Lefty Gomez was not a very good hitter. When asked he ever had broken a bat he replied, “Only one time, when I ran over it backing out of the garage.”