Day: September 17, 2014

* A Texan died and went to the pearly gates. After a few day in heaven his bragging was getting on everyone’s nerves. No matter where he went in paradise he always said Texas had something better. Finally, Saint Peter took him to the edge of heaven and pointed straight down into the fiery depths of hell and asked, “Do you have something like that in Texas?” “No sir,” the oilman replied, “but we have some guys down in Houston who can put it out.”

* A friend announced that she had started a fire in her microwave. She explained: “I needed so many paper towels to absorb the grease when cooking bacon, I thought I’d save money and use newspaper.”   “Did you ruin the oven?” I asked. “Well,” she continued reluctantly, “not the first time.”

A burglar in  Belgium was surprised on the job by the owners of the home. He sprang to his feet, ran through the back door, down an alley, and climbed over a 9 foot wall to make his escape. He saved the city a lot of money because he landed in the exercise yard of the city prison.