Day: December 16, 2014

* There was a couple in Hollywood that got married and then divorced and then shortly they remarried. The divorce just did not work out.

Sergeant Friday spat out the accusation: “You admit having broken into the same dress shop four times. What did you steal?”   “A dress for my wife.” Friday countered, “Then why did you get back again and again?” The perp replied, “She made me change it three times.”

Sister Mary Amelia belonged to an order devoted to visiting and helping sick members of the congregation. One day while making her rounds visiting the homebound patients she ran out of gas. As luck would have it a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out but she couldn’t wait until it was returned. Since she was on her way to see another patient and behind schedule she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bed pan she always had on hand and for the sick patients. Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station filled it with gas and carried the full bedpan back to her car which was decorated with congregation’s logo and crucifix air freshener. She was pouring the gas into the tank while two men watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If that car starts I’m turning Catholic.”