Day: February 25, 2015

My wife came in one day to tell me: “There’s trouble with the car, it has water in the carburetor. “It can’t have water in the carburetor,” I said. She insisted, “I swear to you there is water in the carburetor.” “How can you say that, you don’t even know what the carburetor is. Where is that stupid car?” She cautiously responded, “In the pool.”

@ Guns always gave me the willies. But when my new job required me to transport valuables, I decided I needed one for protection. Since I knew next to nothing about firearms I joined a pistol club, hoping to pick up some much-needed pointers. After watching and evaluating my technique for a few weeks, the instructor pulled me aside. “Are you open to suggestion?” he asked. “Absolutely,” I replied. “Hire a bodyguard.”

@ A man robbed the St. Louis grocery store and to prevent from being identified outside he was carrying a spare shirt in his back pocket in the process of changing while he ran down the street robber forgot he also put his gun in the same pocket. When he reached for the shirt he hit the trigger on the gun and shot himself in the leg.