March 12th Jokes
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
* A doctor was appearing as an expert witness on behalf of a man injured in a car accident and was being badgered by an overbearing attorney. “You say doctor that you are familiar with the symptoms of a brain concussion. Is that correct.” “Yes, I am.” “Well then doctor please tell me and the jury, if you and I were riding in a car and another car struck us at high speed such that our heads were banged together, in your opinion would we suffer a concussion?” “It is my opinion,” replied the doctor, “that I would and you would not.”
How do you tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative? Easy, watch a man drowning 50 feet offshore. The conservative will grab 25 feet of rope and swim out for him. The liberal will toss out 50 feet of rope into the water then walk off congratulating himself for doing a good deed.