Day: March 15, 2015

* When the young waitress in a café in my building started waving hello to me every day, I was flattered. She was at least 15 years younger than I was. One day she waved and beckoned to me. When I strolled over, she asked, “Are you single?” “Why, yes,” I replied smiling at her broadly. “So is my mom,” she said. “Would you like to meet her?”

* Competitive weightlifters are now taking steroids and the male hormone testosterone. One guy had so much testosterone in him that he classified as a Russian woman.

The CIA was accepting applications for an assassin. They narrowed the finalists to two men and one woman, and they gave them the final test. They gave each of them a gun and brought the first man in and pointed to the big wooden door and said right in there is your wife. Go in and kill her. The man dropped the gun. He said, “I can’t do it.” They the told the second man, “Your wife is behind that door. Go kill her.” The Second man walked to the door put his hand on the knob, but couldn’t do it either. Finally, they brought in a woman and told her behind that door is your husband, go in and kill him. So she went to the door and they heard the gun shots, one shot after another for 10 shots. Then they heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. Then everything was quiet. The door open slowly the woman came out wiping the sweat from her brow and she said, “Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks so I had to strangle him.”