Day: March 24, 2015

* A woman borrowed a DVD from the Memphis library and brought it back the next day. She indignantly complained to the clerk, “I got this movie about the ‘King and I’ and there nothing in there about Elvis at all.”

@ T. Boone Pickens told this joke to a group of bankers: Bob the banker calls in the oilman to review his loans. “We loaned you 1 million to revive your old wells, and they went dry,” says the banker. “Could’ve been worse,” the oilman replies. “Then we loaned you a million more to drill new wells and they were dry.”  “Could’ve been worse.”   “Then we loaned you another million for new drilling equipment, and it broke down.”   “Could’ve been worse.”  “I’m getting really tired of hearing that,” snaps the banker. “How could it have been worse?”   “Could have been my money,” said the oilman.

@ A man was driving through Oklahoma oil country wondering at all the oil rigs poking into the ground and up into the air. He stopped for a bite and got talking to one of the local men. He asked if it was true that many of the farmers had gotten rich by finding oil on their farms. The man said it was true and the oil business just took over the farms. The visitor asked, “Do you own a farm around here?” “Yeah” came the downbeat reply. “Are there any oil wells on it?” “Yeah, we have three good wells and they are producing several hundred barrels a day.”  The impressed visitor asked, “What are you going to do with all the money you are getting from your property now?” The farmer answered, “I am gonna buy me a farm that ain’t got no oil on it.”