October 27th Humor
@ “I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” “I would not join the kind of club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx
* There were only two people in the New York Subway car. An elderly woman and a young man. They arrived at their common stop and the doors opened. The young man spryly popped out and walked briskly to the exit gate. He stopped there and held it open for the lady as she ambled along. When she got there she thanked him for his kindness and said, “I am not used to such good manners in New York City.” The young man tipped his ball cap and explained, “You will have to forgive me, but I am from out of town myself and I did not know any better.”
One girl said to her fellow commuter, “Watch me talk a man into giving me a seat.” She sidled up to an older, well dressed gentleman and said loud enough for every one to hear, “Mr. Wilson, I haven’t seen you in such a long time. I have been working so hard and I am really tired.” Surprised by the strange girl, but embarrassed by her speech, he offered her the seat. The standing man then spoke to her loud enough for everyone around to hear, “Mary, you don’t look well. That detox program has really taken its toll on you. I want you to know that our attorneys are working very hard to get your mother’s sentence shortened and we think we can sue your boyfriend to have him pay for your STD treatment.”