Day: February 25, 2016

* Sister Mary Amelia belonged to an order devoted to visiting and helping sick members of the congregation. One day while making her rounds visiting the homebound patients she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out but she couldn’t wait until it was returned. Since she was on her way to see another patient and behind schedule she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bed pan she always had on hand and for the sick patients. Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station filled it with gas and carried the full bedpan back to her car which was decorated with congregation’s logo and crucifix air freshener. She was pouring the gas into the tank while two men watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, “If that car starts, I’m turning Catholic.”

@ Guns always gave me the willies. But when my new job required me to transport valuables, I decided I needed one for protection. Since I knew next to nothing about firearms I joined a pistol club, hoping to pick up some much-needed pointers. After watching and evaluating my technique for a few weeks, the instructor pulled me aside. “Are you open to suggestion?” he asked. “Absolutely,” I replied. “Hire a bodyguard.”

A customer called our service line demanding help with her TV set, it would not come on. “I’m sorry, we can’t send a technician out today to the blizzard”, I told her. Unsatisfied, she barked, “I need my TV fixed today what else am I supposed to do while the power is out?”