Day: April 19, 2016

* I went to the sporting goods store to buy a jogging suit for my wife who was an avid jogger. Not knowing the size I explained she is five feet seven inches tall and weighs about 115 pounds. The clerk responded, “Maybe something in a size ten.” I said that sounded pretty big to me. She called out to a lady clerk across the store, “What would you call a gal that is 5′ 7 and 115 pounds?”  Came the reply, “Lucky.”

# A mother was picking up her child from day care and waited a few minutes with some other mothers. One proud mother proclaimed her son was able to sit by himself at four months, that he crawled at six months and walked before he was a year old. She said now at 16 months he was talking in full sentences. The mother turned to another friend who was listening and asked if her 16 month old son was talking yet. The mother replied, “Andy doesn’t say much, he mainly texts us what he wants.”

“Miami’s Cuban population took to the streets last night to celebrate Fidel Castro stepping down from power. Way to go America! Our plan to slowly deteriorate his health over the course of 50 years is working.”