May 20th Humor
* In a rush to return to the Vincennes University, my friend Jill was caught speeding. She called to tell her parents, she did her best to downplay the incident. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news,” she began. “The good news is my 16-year-old car still does 85 mph, the bad news is the police know it.”
# School report card note: “Your son’s handwriting is so bad we cannot tell whether he can spell or not.”
A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a journalist and I’ve got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations.” To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?”