July 5th Humor
* There was an elderly Florida gentlemen that was told by his doctor to lose weight and get more exercise. A friend who knew of the situation discovered him sitting on the beach under an umbrella watching the girls going by. “Abey you told me you vas going to get some more exercise.” “Vell, that’s right.” “You never gonna get exercise sitting on the beach.” “That’s where you are wrong Ralph. I come down here every day to vatch these girls in their bikinis and I walk three miles each way.”
@ Our chief financial officer was giving a tour of the corporate headquarters to the special group of senior executives from whose bank we had recently received a loan. As the CFO came to the jewel of the tour, the computer center that had been financed with the bank’s help, he proudly pointed to a small metal box on the wall next to the entrance. “This box,” he boasted, “is part of our new security system. The only way to gain admittance to the computer room is by inserting a properly encoded card in the slot.” He pressed the button next to the box, and the buzzer sounded. His face went pale when a voice from the other side of the door shouted, “Come on in, its open.”
Secret Service guys are very brave. What other job are you asked to take a bullet for your boss? Well, other than working at a “711”.