Day: September 7, 2016

*”Life is Tough on women in Arizona prisons now that they have to work on chain gangs,” says comedian Rosie O’Donnell, “and what’s worse the stripes on their jumpsuits are horizontal.”

When my husband and I were first dating, his mother pulled me aside to pay me a compliment. “You know Daniel used to bring home some really beautiful girls and not one of them had a brain in her head. But, from the moment I saw you, I knew you had something upstairs.”

It was my first day as a cashier in a busy doctor’s office, I was so frazzled I made several mistakes on the computer, and patients were getting very upset with me. When the last person, a 97-year-old man, was leaving, he gave me a kind smile. “Young lady,” he said, “I’m the oldest resident in this town, and you’re the prettiest woman here.” I  replied, “that’s very nice of you sir, thank you.” As he walked away I heard him mutter, “don’t thank me, it’s a small town.”