October 20th Humor
*A hard working candy store operator was bemoaning his life to the reverend. “I was a hard working clerk barely making a living when like so many young men I fell in with evil companions and felt compelled to gamble.” “Ah, my son, and then you lost all your hard earned savings, eh?” “No,” said the shop owner. “I won big and like a damned fool, I bought this candy store.”
One residents of the retirement center where I was the administrator loved to talk politics and gamble. Following the election, I asked him if he was happy? He responded, “the man I voted for lost.” “You seem pretty chipper about it,” I said. “That’s because the man I bet on won.”
Jimmy had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while the emerged and told his mother that he thought it over and then said a prayer. “Fine,” said the pleased mother. “If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.” “Oh, I didn’t ask him to help me not misbehave, I ask Him to help you put up with me.”