Day: November 17, 2016

* The first mate on a ship got drunk for the first time in his life. The Ship’s captain, stern and rigid man, recorded this in his log, “The first mate got drunk today.” Then the mate protested  the entry, explaining that if it remained in the log without further comment or explanation it could ruin his career because it suggested that drunkenness was not unusual for him, whereas he had never been drunk before. The captain, however, was adamant, stating that the log recorded the exact truth and therefore must stand as written. The next week it was the mates turn to write in the ship’s log on each day he wrote, “the captain was sober today.”

Four guys from work were out golfing together. One of the guys had just bought a new club and complained it was not living up to its billing. He offered to sell the club to my Dad for $150. Dad said, “Well, let me try it out first.”  So he used it on the next hole and got a hole in one. “Are you positive you want to sell this club?” my father asked his buddy. “Sure,” the man replied, “Only now the price is $200.”

I stopped at a bar in Hollywood and asked for a double. The bartender brought out a guy that looked just like me.