Day: January 16, 2017

@ To obtain information on my home loan the real-estate agent gave me an inquiry form to fill out and send to the bank holding the mortgage. A few days later after I sent the form to them, I got the form back in the mail. The bank form had a handwritten note written in red across the top explaining that to get this information I would have to “enclose a self addressed stamped envelope.”

@ A man who just been promoted to vice president boasted on it so much to his wife that she finally said, “Vice presidents are a dime a dozen. Why at the supermarket they even have a vice president of prunes.” Furious, the husband called the supermarket with the expectation of refuting his wife. He asked to speak to the vice president in charge of prunes. “Which one?” was the reply. “Packaged or bulk prunes?”

A man got a flat tire right outside the fence surrounding a county mental hospital. He changed the tire and put the lug nuts in the hubcap. As he moved he kicked the hubcap and the nuts rolled into the sewer. He was stuck then and noticed a man inside the fence watching him. The inmate said, “why don’t you take one lug nut of each of the other wheels to attach the tire until you can get to the garage.” The distressed man said this was brilliant idea, thanked him and said, “I don’t know why you are in such a place.” The inmate said, “I am in here for being crazy not stupid.”