January 3rd Jokes
“Mommy, can I swim out to where the waves are breaking,” asked the little girl. Mother shook her head firmly and said, “No.” “Please,” she begged. “Daddy is swimming out there.” “I know, darling, but he is insured.”
Life expectancy would be lengthened and waistlines shrunken if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
* I once purchased two watches from a street salesmen on London’s Oxford Street. When I asked if he could furnish me guarantees, he said, “Certainly, Madam. I can give you a five-year guarantee, a 10 year guarantee or even lifetime guarantees.” then he added, “The only thing I can’t guarantee is that I will be here this time next Monday morning.”