February 28th Jokes
After a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. Now I’m 5’3″ tall and pleasantly plump, not exactly Mylie Cyrus. When the nurse asked me for my height and weight, I blurted out, “5 foot eight and 125 pounds.” As the nurse paused to check her eyesight, mom leaned over to me and said, “Sweetheart, this isn’t the Internet.”
A young penguin waddles into a bar looking around cautiously and then asks the bartender, “Was my father in here?” The bartender inquires, “I don’t know, what does he look like? ”
# For several years, my job was to answer all of your phone calls and mail concerning the daytime television soap operas our company produced. One day a woman called wanting medical advice from an actor who portrayed a doctor on one of the shows. I explained that the man wasn’t a real doctor couldn’t help her. After a moment of shocked silence, the woman replied indignantly, “No wonder it takes his patients months to recover.”