February 1st Jokes
* A Washington DC lobbyist was opening the door of his new BMW to get out when another car came along close beside and ripped the door right off. The lawyer jumped into the middle of the street and was cursing up a storm when a policeman pulled up. The raging lawyer told the officer how his beautiful car had been ruined and what would people say about him with an imperfect car. The policeman said, “You lawyers are all so materialistic, all you care about are your possessions and showing them off. You were so worked up about your damaged status symbol car, you did not even realize the accident pulled your arm off.” “Oh no,” cried the lawyer holding his forehead in the remaining hand. “What happened to my Rolex?”
@ A sailor had been marooned alone in the deserted island for a year and finally was rescued when rescue party came ashore in a small boat they told the sailor to pack up and that they would take you back to civilization. Before leaving the island he gave the rescue party a tour. “I built myself a house. That’s it there. Here’s the barn, and over here is the church I worshiped in.” The crew asked, “What’s that building over there?” Louie stammered, “that’s the church I used to belong to.”