March 7th Jokes
My sister decided to go on a diet. The first evening she phoned me, I could tell her mouth was full, so I asked her what she was eating. “Just a few Oreos,” she mumbled. “I just got on the scale and it said 149 1/2 pounds. I decided it was no place to start a diet, so I’m rounding it off to 150.”
My husband has an annoying habit of looking for snacks and going through the refrigerator while I am preparing supper. One night he had gone through the refrigerator shelves twice while I was bustling around the kitchen. When he came back the third time I told him. “Nothing in there is any different than it was a minute ago when you looked.” He responded “I know that, but this time I have lowered my standards.”
@ Some months ago I saw a man on a bus stop bench meticulously breaking up an obviously expensive loaf of bakery whole wheat bread and tossing pieces to the pigeons. I was curious enough to ask him, “Why feed them whole wheat bread?” He answered very seriously, “everybody gives them white bread or cake. This way they’ll remember me.”