Day: July 13, 2017

A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had “disappeared.”  The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cell phone and demanded: “Where the hell are you?”  Husband: “Darling, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn’t have money that time and said, ‘Baby, it’ll be yours one day’?”  Wife, with a smile, blushing: “Yes I remember that, my love.”  Husband, “Well, I’m in the bar next door to that shop.”

Two beggars were sitting outside Tivoli fountain in Rome. One beggar had his hat in front of him decorated with a crucifix. The other had a hat in front of him, with a Star of David. People are walking by, and they’re all putting their donations into the hat with a crucifix. A priest walks by, he sees the two of them sitting there, and he says, “My good man this is a Catholic city no one’s going to put money in a hat with a Star of David as a matter of fact most Catholics and Christians in this city will probably donate extra to the hat with the crucifix.” The beggar with a Star of David turns to the other and says, “Moshe, look who’s trying to tell the Cohen brothers about marketing.”

Castro’s three main successes: Public Health, education, and sports.
Castro’s three main failures: Breakfast, lunch, and dinner!