August 14th Humor
A redneck sidles into a bar and asks the barkeep, “Send me a cold one.” He looks at the end of the bar and asked the bartender, “Hey, is that Jesus?” The barkeep nods. The redneck says, “send Him a glass of wine on me.” As Jesus gets up to leave, he walks over to the redneck, reaches out towards him and says, “Thanks for your kindness,” the redneck jumps up and yells, “Don’t touch me, I’m on disability.”
I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was a compulsive shopper and was getting carried away in the store, a brief power outage caused the lights to flicker overhead. He sighed, “that must be my wife checking out now.”
A customer called our service line demanding help with her TV set, it would not come on. “I’m sorry, we can’t send a technician out today to the blizzard”, I told her. Unsatisfied, she barked, “I need my TV fixed today what else am I supposed to do while the power is out?”