Day: December 11, 2017

The U.S. Postal Service was hacked by the Russians. Authorities are suggesting looking carefully at your stamps carefully before licking them.

My wife is an absolute follow the instructions, by the recipe, baker. But that attention to detail still hasn’t made her chocolate chip cookies taste any better. One day, after the cookies had been in the oven a while, I smelled a familiar odor. “The cookies are burning,” I shouted to her. “I know,” she said nonchalantly. “Aren’t you going to take them out of the oven?” “No. They still have to be in six more minutes.”

It’s gotten so bad in Russia today that Vladimir Putin had to pawn his stolen Super Bowl ring. And Putin will finance his next invasion on Kickstarter.