Month: December 2017

A woman is riding a bus in the Midwest, when a man gets on the bus and sits down next to her. He’s wearing a black hat, long black coat, black slacks and shoes, and he has a long curly dark beard. The woman looks at him disgustedly. “Jews like you,” she hisses at him. He looks up at her, puzzled, and says, “I beg your pardon, madam?” She says, “Look at you. All in black, a beard, never take off your hat! It’s Jews like you that give the rest of us a bad name.” He says calmly, “I beg your pardon, madam, but I am not Jewish. I’m Amish.” The woman looks back with a smile and says, “Oh, how nice. You have kept your customs.”

@ After a priest performed a baptism at Sunday mass, one proud family spent a lot of time taking photographs. A month later the priest was again performing baptisms when he noticed the same family at the baptismal fount. “Did I not baptize your child a few weeks ago?” He asked the parents. “Yes.” the mother responded, “but the pictures didn’t turn out.”

* Since I rode a bus to work in the early morning and it was often dark when I was picked up at the stop, I came up with a way to be seen. I put reflectors on my lunch box and wore a bright orange jogger’s vest that had flashing LED’s on it. The next morning the bus went right past me. I ran down to the next stop and caught up with him. I asked, “didn’t you see me?” The driver replied, “I saw you, but I thought you were a road sign.”