February 1st Humor
There was a man who was marooned on a deserted island. He had made a life for himself and was crudely dressed and had a long beard. One day as he walked the surf and shapely young lady came out of the water in a wet suit. He was amazed and the woman asked, “Have you been here long?” He replied, “since 2005.” She asked, “How long has it been since you had a cigarette?” He said, “a long time.” She reached into the suit and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and they lit up together. She asked him “how long has it been since you had a drink?” He said “a long time.” She opens another pocket and pulls out a flask of whiskey and they share a drink. She asks him, “how long has it been since you played around?” He looked at her wistfully and said, “a long time.” She reached up and started to unzip the front of her wet suit and the stranded man said, “Don’t’ tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there too.”
Give a man a fish and he will eat for day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank — proving once and for all, that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.