Day: March 6, 2018

I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road on my bike. Then a woman was driving very slowly uphill, honking her horn and shouting at me: “PIG! PIG!!”. I flipped her the finger and shouted back “BITCH! COW!!”….Then I collided with the pig!

A Canadian veterinarian has devised an intelligence test for dogs. You send him $12.99 and then your dog is smarter than you.

A woman complained to the doctor about her husband’s lack of passion. “Give him one of these pills,” said to the doctor, “and the problem should be solved.” The next day the woman returned, “I gave my husband a pill and we waited but nothing happened. So he took a second pill within minutes he was crazed with passion he sent the dishes crashing to the floor as he swept the table clear with one hand flung me onto it with the other. You cured him, but it was more than I expected.” “Oh, dear,” lamented the doctor, “I meant to warn you about taking more than one pill at a time. It’s my fault the least I can do is pay for your dishes.” “Thanks,” said the woman, “but it really isn’t necessary. We’re never going back to that restaurant again anyway.”