My old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, “You’re next!” After a while, I figured out how to stop them. I started doing the same thing to them at funerals!
As the newly married couple arrived by taxi at their honeymoon hotel, the bride bent across to the groom and whispered “Darling, I don’t want people to realize we are newlyweds – I want them to think we have been married for years.” “OK, but are you sure you can manage both suitcases,” replied the groom.
A guest arrived at a wedding where he had not met the groom before. He spotted a dapper young man in a tuxedo and asked, “Are you the groom?” “No” said the young man sadly, “I was knocked out in the semi-finals.”
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.