Jail or Shoveling Manure
Jail or Shoveling Manure
An 18-year-old Painesville Township resident was in the horse stalls at the fairgrounds cleaning up in the aftermath of the Lake County Fair. “You act like an animal, you’re going to take care of animals,” Painesville Municipal Court Judge Michael Cicconetti told Toth July 24, the day the fair started. Toth was sentenced because security camera footage caught Toth knocking over a Porta-Potty, throwing two life preservers into the water and damaging a Wi-Fi bridge with a basketball at Painesville Township Park. In place of spending time in jail, the judge known, for his creative punishments, told Toth that if he can play with crap, he can pick it up too.
One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse’s office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed the woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. “Why are you dressed like that”? I asked her. “I told my son,” she explained, “if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back.” “He was caught cutting school today. So now I have come to punish him by spending the rest of the day with him.”
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman. “That’s unfair!” he cried. “I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.” “Shut up”, barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork. “Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?”
The commander of the C-141 was in a hurry to fly out of the US air base in Thule, Greenland, but everything was working against him. The truck to pump the sewage from the plane was late, and then the airman pumping out the tank was taking his time. The commander harassed the lowly airman, threatening to have him punished. Turning to the officer, the airman said, “I have no stripes, it’s 40° below zero, I’m stationed in Greenland and I’m pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just how do you plan to punish me?”