I am not Dead
I am not Dead!
Constantin Reliu learned in January that he was dead. After more than 20 years of working as a cook in Turkey, the 63-year-old returned home to Romania to discover that his wife had him officially registered as dead. He has since been living a legalistic nightmare of trying to prove to authorities that he is, in fact, alive. He faced a major setback Thursday when a court in the northeastern city of Vaslui refused to overturn his death certificate because his request was filed “too late.” Constantin is also banned from entering Turkey because… you guessed it.
Late at night one of the inmates at an insane asylum yelled out, “I am Napoleon.” Across the hall someone yelled back, “How do you know?” Napoleon said, “God told me.” From another room a voice yelled out, “I did not.”
The psychiatrist said, “Congratulations your identity problem is cured.” The patient replied, “Some cure, before I was Julius Caesar and ruled the world, now I am a nobody.”
Man to his wife: “I have bad new news and good news.” “Here is the bad news, we owe one hundred thousand dollars in college loans for the kids, a month’s salary in back taxes, and our retirement fund is tanking.” Wife: “What’s the good news?” “Somebody stole our identity.”
The patient was given the good news after years of therapy and medication the doctor declared him cured of his delusion that he was Napoleon. “Oh wonderful,” the man exclaimed, “May I use your phone, I need to call Josephine and tell her the news.”