Month: January 2019

Emotional Support Chicken legal on planes

Would you like your emotional support animal deep fried? Popeye’s Louisiana Kitchen has answered and now you can pick up an “Emotional Support Chicken” box if you happen to be flying this holiday season via Terminal C at Philadelphia International Airport. Delta is no longer allowing puppies and kittens as emotional support animals on flights, nor are animals of any age allowed on flights longer than 8 hours. This comes after a reported 84 percent increase in negative incidents. Popeye’s assures you its Emotional Support Chicken is “permitted to fly without any restrictions.”

I was flying into Boston last week and when I went to find my luggage, it seemed to be missing. So I went to the airline’s customer service center to find out how to locate it. So the clerk asks me “Sir, can you describe your suitcase?” So I tell her, “it’s a flourescent pink suitcase shaped like a star.” She looks up and asks “Okay, and is there anything distinctive about your bag?”

A first grade teacher was reading the story of “Chicken Little” to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. She read, “and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “the sky is falling, the sky is falling.” She then asked the class, “and what do you think that the farmer said?” One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said, holy shit, a talking chicken.”

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

The inventors of General Tso’s Chicken and The Big Mac both died at 98!!
So…Why am I eating salad??