Day: December 19, 2019

A woman’s best friend

A police officer was on high alert when he came face to face with a black Labrador stalking the streets of a Wisconsin neighborhood. Officer Jeff Gonzalez noticed it was a particularly cold day when he saw a clearly distressed black Labrador retriever wandering around by himself. The dog was frantically pacing back and forth. “John Boy” was trying to tell him something. The black Lab saw the police car and started frantically barking, but wagging his tail. It became clear that he wanted to lead Jeff somewhere. Intrigued, the officer obliged, and he followed the dog directly to a nearby house. He found the owner slumped over a chair on the frigid front porch and got emergency services to respond. The medics got her to the hospital, and she survived thanks to John Boy and Officer Gonzalez.

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me?” “Stay! Stay!” The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blond young lady, gave me a strange look and said, “Why don’t you just put it in park?”

A woman called an airline customer-service desk asking if it was possible to fly with her dog on board. “Sure,” the airline agent said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” The clerk continued to explain that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was perplexed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

A guy says to his buddy, “I’m thinking about buying a Labrador.”
His pal warns, “That might not be such a good idea. Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?”

My neighbor’s dog is so smart that he went to obedience school and he knows how to fetch, heel and beg.
Now he is going back to teach him how to do text messages.