I really suck at stealing cars
I really suck at stealing cars
Todd Sheldon, 36, trying to break into a car in Jefferson County earlier this month, was caught by the homeowner, officials said. Sheldon escaped before deputies arrived. Moments later, however, authorities found Sheldon “just down the street…trying to break into another vehicle,” the sheriff’s office posted. As deputies approached the Sheldon, he made a shocking admission to them. “I’m trying to steal this truck.” Sheldon was taken into custody and bonded out. But wait, there is more! This week, deputies responded to a report of a man breaking into a car, they arrived at the scene, again saw Sheldon — trying to break into a vehicle. Sheldon surrendered and told a deputy: “I really suck at this.”
The young man from Mississippi comes running into the store and says to his buddy, ‘Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!’
Bubba replies, ‘Did you see who it was?’ The young man answers, ‘I couldn’t tell, but I got his license number.’
Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton visited a New York bakery at the same time while campaigning. Hillary tauntingly whispers to Trump “Watch how clever I am?” She steals three cookies and stuffs them in her pocket. She teases again, “The owner didn’t see anything, and I didn’t need to lie. That’s why I’m going to beat you in the election.”
Trump says to Hillary, “Now I’m going to show you how to get the same results honestly.” Trump says to the bakery owner, “If you give me three of those cookies, I’ll show you a magic trick.” The baker gives Trump three cookies and he proceeds to eat them. The baker asks what is the magic trick, “So? Where did the cookies go?”
Trump says, “Look in Hillary’s pocket.”
The police finally catch a notorious criminal, so the chief himself decides to interrogate him. Chief: “Let me see here, you have quite the backstory. Theft, forgery, burglary, blackmail, theft, forgery, forgery, forgery, the list goes on and on. What do you explain this record?” Criminal: “Well, it took me a while to figure out my area of expertise.”