The Vultures have landed
The Vultures have landed
The border patrol has a new kind of invader. 300 vultures now call home, a 320-foot radio tower is located near the border. A CBP spokesperson says “a population of vultures have built up and are roosting and nesting on the tower structure on the railings, catwalks, supports, and on rails and conduit throughout. Droppings mixed with urine are on all of these surfaces and throughout the interior of the tower where workers are in contact with it, as well as on areas below.” Quartz, which broke the story Friday, quoted a CBP spokesperson as saying the vultures will often defecate and vomit from their roost onto buildings below that house employees and equipment.
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now.” The Mexican man pleads with them, “No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for him and says “Ok, I’ll let you stay if you can use 3 English words in a sentence” The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, “The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in a sentence.” The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, “Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?”
A border patrol official comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump…
“Sir, because of the trauma of being separated from their parents, three Brazilian children fell sick last night.”
Trump looks absolutely devastated. He sinks back in his chair, murmuring “oh my God” to himself over and over.
Then he composes himself and says: “Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?”
I shot a vulture.
It was a scavenger hunt.
Why does the American border patrol guard take Xanax?
To stop Hispanic attacks.