Washed out shoplifters
It’s just shoplifting, what’s the big deal? Everything is insured. The stores just write it off, right? But anyone who has ever stood in front of a locked case of Day-Quil with their head throbbing and their nose running, waiting for someone to let the medicine out, knows it’s far more than that. Worse, anyone who has lived where stores are abandoning the area due to the shoplifting problem knows what is lost. The impulse to dismiss shoplifting as no big deal is wrong. A mass shoplifting problem is evidence of societal decline and degradation. A New York Times newsletter says the shoplifting epidemic has resulted in even the most basic items such as ice cream now kept behind lock and key. Syracuse (pop. 146,103), which is experiencing a 55% increase in shoplifting since 2019. San Francisco, using political math, shows a 5% decline in shoplifting, yet businesses are fleeing the city. Target is closing three stores in the SF area, citing “theft and organized retail crime . . . threatening the safety of our team and guests, and contributing to unsustainable business performance.”
A Genesee County, Michigan judge is hoping an unusual form of community service will help shoplifters change their ways. Judge Jeffrey Clothier said he was shocked to see the breadth of retail thefts when he joined the bench in January, adding that offenders were from all over Michigan and outside the state. “It’s just crazy,” he said, noting he had 48 such cases on his Fint, MI docket one day. Walmart designated a parking space for police because of frequent calls about thefts. About 75 to 100 people will eventually be ordered to wash cars for free during weekend events at the Walmart location in March and April. Judge Jeffrey Clothier hopes the unusual form of community service discourages people from stealing from Walmart and reward shoppers who could see higher prices, or possibly lose stores, if thefts continue. The car washes will be free.
“It’s an innovative approach,” county Prosecutor David Leyton said of the car washes. “Even if it deters one person, then there’s some success there.” Judge Clothier told the Associated Press. “I don’t think everybody that steals is a bad person. Sometimes people are just down on their luck,” “But there’s going to be consequences when you break the law.” The judge said Walmart is “on board” and will provide water and supplies. “I think it will be humiliating to be out there washing cars if you see someone you know.” Some psychologists say the public embarrassment is a stronger punishment than jail time.
The missing shoplifter
A ghost was arrested and placed in a holding cell with others as they await processing. The ghost turns to the man and asks, “What are you in for?”
“Shoplifting” he says, “How about you?”
The ghost smiles and says, “Possession.”
In America, “five finger discount” means you’re shoplifting.
In Saudi Arabia, “five finger discount” means you got caught shoplifting.
There’s a gang going through town, systematically shoplifting clothes in order of size.
Police say they are still at large.
I never thought I’d be shoplifting from a kitchen supply store,
But that’s a whisk I’m willing to take.
February 17th Birthdays
1992 – Megan Jett Martin, 1991 – Bonnie Wright, 1981 – Paris Hilton, 1971 – Denise Richards
1963 – Michael Jordan, 1963 – Larry the Cable Guy, 1971 – Dominic Purcell, 1937 – Jim Brown