New Florida record
In the sleepy “little” Florida golf community named “The villages” a new world record has been set. Nathan Rodney Nelson has been officially recognized the having stolen the most golf carts of anyone in the world. Nathan was caught and convicted in Florida, but his operation covered most of the central states. When his home inspection business struggled, had decided to steal and sell the golf carts to help with the mounting bills. Court records showed that Nelson would take the carts from rural golf courses in the middle of the night and then later sell them through websites like Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace. Nathan was able to steal at least 84 golf carts over a four-year span. These courses included areas like North Dakota, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio and Georgia, with Nelson being successful on at least 70 of those attempts.
Nathan became the target of the F.B.I. after a North Dakota sheriff’s office realized the thefts might be connected. He wound up getting caught because the phone number associated with his alias was also his phone number. Whoops. He also left some scorecards and pencils in the carts that tied them back to where they were stolen from. So we’re not talking about a criminal mastermind here. According to the New York Times, the 45-year-old usually sold the carts for $2,500, around half of what they were worth. The 45-year-old Nathan was sentenced to two years in prison, fined $13,000 and ordered to forfeit $222,000, the value of the stolen golf carts.
But wait! There is more…
Nelson’s larceny is not the only Florida news. Daytona Beach Police said they were patrolling on South Atlantic Avenue around 3:20 a.m. Thursday when they saw a man later identified as William Hodge attempting to throw a live gator onto the roof of a building. Alllegedly, Hodge stole the alligator from a miniature-golf course, swung it around by its tail and threw it into the air claimed he was teaching the reptile “a lesson.” He admitted that he jumped a fence into an alligator enclosure at a nearby miniature-golf course and stole the gator after wrestling with it, records show. Hodge was taken to the public safety department and tried to flood the holding cell by balling up toilet paper to clog the toilet bowl and the drain on the floor, records show. Police said Hodge was threatening to flood the whole facility. An arrest report didn’t detail what injuries the alligator suffered if any. It has since been returned to Congo River Golf.
Fuming about Florida golf
First golfer: “I have the greatest high tech golf ball in the world.” “Oh, yeah. What does it do?” “If you hit it into the sand it beeps. If you hit it into the water it floats, if you are playing at dusk the ball glows.” The second golfer said. “Gee, that is really nice, Where did you get it?” The first golfer replied, “I found it in the woods.”
“You must be the worst caddy in the world, complained the dejected golfer after a disastrous afternoon on the links. “I doubt it, sir,” said the caddy. “That would be too much of a coincidence.”
My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus.
Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.
The new health care bill will now cover getting hit by a random golf ball while in Florida.
March 10th Birthdays
1986 – Olivia Wild, 1983 – Carrie Underwood, 1959 – Sharon Stone, 1949 – Babara Ann Cochrane
1940 – Chuck Norris, 1971 – Jon Hamm, 1948 – Austin Carr, 2000 – Logan Shroyer