60 Mile Per Hour baby

A very pregnant Hannah Pickup and Matthew Taylor had been on their way to the hospital when their son Jasper arrived just as they passed Junction 16 on the M60 in England. Hannah, who works as a vet, said they had assumed Jasper’s birth would be similar to their first son Bruce’s, where she spent three days in labor. However Jasper took just half an hour to arrive. Not knowing what to do, they continued their journey while Hannah cradled the baby in her arms with the umbilical cord still attached. She added: “He started crying and breathing so I knew he was okay.” Once they arrived at Ingleside Maternity medics quickly confirmed they had delivered a healthy baby boy. She said: “I looked at the road sign and thought we’re still 10 minutes away, and then all of a sudden, he was out. It all happened so quickly we didn’t have time to panic. I was pretty concerned as I didn’t know what to do, but my natural instinct took over. Bizarrely everything was quite calm.”

 

Distracted Driving

If your Cell Phone is water damaged, try submerging it in rice overnight.
This should attract Asians, who will fix it.

“Honk if you love Jesus.”
“Keep texting while driving, if you are desperate to meet him.”

My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn’t great, but the reception was perfect.

This idiot beside me was texting and driving on the expressway.
How irresponsible and dangerous. I was so mad I put my window down and threw my beer at him.

 

June 16th Birthdays

1998 – Lauren Taylor, 1987 – Abby Elliot, 1987 – Ali Stroker, 1987 – Diana DeGarmo

1974 – Park Bo Gum, 1972 – John Cho, 1970 – Phil Mickelson, 1982 – Matt Costa

 

Morning Motivator:

You are the sum total of all your choices up until this moment.

 

Just shut up and drive