October 12 Humor

* A sailor had been marooned alone in the deserted island for a year and finally was rescued when rescue party came ashore in a small boat they told the sailor to pack up that they would take you back to civilization. Before leaving the island gave the rescue party a tour. “I built myself a house. That’s it there. Here’s the barn, and over here is the church I worshiped in.” The crew asked, “What’s that building over there?” Louie stammered, “that’s the church I used to belong to.”

@ A visitor asked a native Russian to explain the new government policy of openness or “Perestroika” to him. He said, “Imagine I have two tin pails. One is empty and the other is full of potatoes. I keep pouring the potatoes back and forth from one bucket to the other.” The America asked, “I don’t get it. You keep moving the potatoes around, but nothing has changed.” The wily Russian said, “Ah, but the noise you that it makes, that is Perestroika.”

When leaving the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the restaurant table, but she didn’t miss them until they have been driving about 20 minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation. They had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and fumed and complained relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her the more agitated he became. He just would not let up. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant and as the woman got out of the car to hurry inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, “While you’re in there you might as well get my hat and credit card.”