November 3 Humor

@ There was an older minority state employee driving a dump truck down a New Jersey road at a high rate of speed. The state trooper clocked the truck and pulled him over. The trooper got his license and asked, “Do your know you were going over 60 miles per hour in this truck?”  “No seh, I didn’t know that.”   “Haven’t you got a governor on that truck?”  “No seh, the governor is in Trenton, that is fertilizer that you smell.”

* A resident of San Francisco spent a semi-sleepless night last summer Interrupted several times listening to what he calls the ridiculously self-important sound of a car alarm. Next morning, as he tottered. bleary-eyed to work, was gratified to find this note scrawled in the windshield of the offending BMW, “Thieves please break into his car. Disconnect the car alarm you can have the stereo as a thank you gift from the neighborhood.”

Three ex-US presidents are caught in a tornado, and sent off to the land of OZ. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the great wizard. “What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?”  Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: “I’ve come for some courage.”   “No problem,” says the wizard. “Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?” Up stepped George Bush sadly and said, “I’m told by the American people that I need a heart.”   “I’ve heard it’s true,” said the Wizard. “Consider it done.” Then there was a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there looking around, but does not say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “What do you want?” Clinton asks, “Is Dorothy here?”