June 16th Humor

* Back in Lincoln’s day there were many party members who felt they were owed some office for helping get the republican elected. One man from Lincoln’s home state of Illinois was persistent in asking for some kind of government position. Lincoln as courteously as possible told him that all the appointed offices were filled and that the man should go back home and work at his job. The next day, as the discouraged man walked along the Potomac river, he saw the police pulling a body out of the river. He watched and recognized that dead man as a federal judge. Immediately he insisted on seeing Lincoln as the president ate breakfast. He explained he had seen the dead judge and wanted Lincoln to appoint him to that position. Lincoln wagged his bearded head and said, “I am sorry, you are too late. I have already given that position to the lawyer who saw his carriage go off the bridge.”

* Lincoln worked for his education, he walked 12 miles to school and 12 miles back home every day. No matter whether rain, or snow, or hail. No school bus, no federal lunch program. Man what a lousy PTA that school must have had.

The grieving window was discussing her late husband with a friend. “My Albert was such a good man and I miss him so. He provided so well for me with that $500,000 insurance policy, that I would give $1000 of the just to have him back.”