August 24th Humor

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes he took the book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It is a miracle.” “Not really.” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me that he drank more than usual the day before. “What is more than usual,” I asked. “A case.” “You can drink a case of beer in a day?”   “Well,” he grumbled defensively, “it doesn’t take all day.”

As I entered our neighborhood diner I noticed a young man in  suit chatting with some of the regulars there. Along came waitress with a tray of breakfasts and tripped, sending the meals flying in particular on the well dressed young man. He stopped and looked at his suit and announced to the whole restaurant,  “Well, I guess the breakfast is on me.”  511