October 8th Humor

* A man phoned the local fire department one night and asked, “Is this where I report a fire?” “Yes,” he was told. “Listen,” said the man. “I just moved in here, I spent thousands of dollars in my yard.  I hired a great landscaper…”  “Where is the fire?” interrupted the officer at the station.  The man continued, “We dug out all the old stuff, we put a new lawn and trees.”  “Is your house on fire now?” asked the officer. “No,” said the man, “but the one next door is and I don’t want anybody come in and ruin my flowers.”

@ A Texan was trying to impress a Bostonian that the heroes of the Alamo were better than anyone else. Tex said, “I bet your never had anyone nearly as brave around Boston.” The Bostonian asked, “Have you ever heard of Paul Revere?” “Paul Revere, isn’t he the guy that ran for help?”

It was my first day as a cashier in a busy doctor’s office, I was so frazzled I made several mistakes on the computer, and patients were getting very upset with me. When the last person, a 97-year-old man, was leaving, he gave me a kind smile. “Young lady,” he said, “I’m the oldest resident in this town, and you’re the prettiest woman here.” I  replied, “that’s very nice of you sir, thank you.” As he walked away I heard him mutter, “don’t thank me it’s a small town.”