February 28th Jokes

A young penguin waddles into a bar looking around cautiously and then asks the bartender, “Was my father in here?” The bartender inquires, “I don’t know, what does he look like? ”

After a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. Now I’m 5’3″ tall and pleasantly plump, not exactly Mylie Cyrus. When the nurse asked me for my height and weight, I blurted out, “5 foot eight and 125 pounds.” As the nurse paused to check her eyesight, mom leaned over to me and said, “Sweetheart, this isn’t the Internet.”

My nine year old nephew and I were watching what I thought was a PG movie on TV when suddenly a male character asked a female character, “Why do you work as a lady of the night?” In a sultry voice she replied, “because I like to find $300 on my pillow.” “Wow,” my nephew commented, “she must have had a huge tooth.”