May 1st Humor

English has exceptions for every rule. The plural of octopus is octopi the plural of fungus is fungi. However, a roomful of Elvis impersonators are not called Elvii even though they are a fungus.

What do British nuclear engineers eat? Fission chips.

I had been a heavy smoker since I was a teenager, but to my surprise was able to quit “cold turkey.” However, my weight shot up and I felt very self-conscious. When a friend congratulated me on giving up cigarettes, I exclaimed, “But look at all these added pounds!”  Her reply was one I’ll always treasure. “Oh, my dear, don’t worry about that!” she said. “Just think of all the extra years you will have in which to lose them.”