Clean out your purse!

Clean out your purse!

“My handbag was bulging and I decided to clean it yesterday. There were a few lotto tickets in there. I’d just seen the news that the big jackpot was won, but I thought, there might be a few quid on these.” Most people would be happy if they found some change or gum  in their purse. When the woman decided to check her tickets at a nearby store, she was told to contact the Lottery Office. She had won $157,000. “When I found out how much I won, I was absolutely delighted.” This is a reminder to everyone, everywhere: clean out your purses now. It’s worth whatever garbage you’ll definitely pick up along the way.

Two blondes walked into a bar. They order two beers, sit down at a table, open their handbags and peeling open Tupperware then started to eat sandwiches. The bartender says, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” …So the two blondes look at each other and swap their sandwiches.

There was a fortunate lady who had lost her purse and had it returned to her by a young man. She examined the contents and remarked, “this is strange, I had a $100 bill in the purse when I lost it and now there 5 -$20 bills in here.” “That’s right Mam, the last time I returned a lost purse the lady did not have change for the reward.”

In the course of stealing a woman’s purse the theif accidentally nicked the woman with his knife, causing her to scream. Her screams alerted for bystanders who then gave chase to the criminal. The purse snatcher jumped from a parking deck 25 feet to the ground, seriously injuring his leg. He then slid under a parked car to hide. A few minutes later the owner of the car got in, started the car up, backed over his legs, breaking several bones. He was apprehended and the purse was returned to its rightful owner along with the purses entire contents: Five dollars.