Thou shalt not steal

Thou shalt not steal

Bad Karma belabored a remorseful thief who swiped a bottle of ketchup from a New Jersey Perkins restaurant. A manager closing up discovered a brown bag next to the entrance to the business that turned out to contain two unopened bottles of ketchup and an anonymous letter. The letter said the theft had brought them bad luck, including their car being hit by another vehicle just hours after the incident. The thief wrote that they hoped replacing the bottle with two new bottles would repair their karma. “Again, I’m really sorry if I inconvenienced you the same way my life has been inconveniencing me,” the person wrote. I’m sorry, from an awful person.” The manager said the person is forgiven.

Paddy went to trial for armed robbery. After a long drawn out trial, the jury foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.” “That’s grand!” shouted Paddy. “Does that mean I can keep the money?”

Judge: Are you guilty?
Prisoner: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the evidence yet.

During a police lineup the detective told each man to step forward and repeat the threat given at the robbery, “give me all your money or I’ll shoot.” One man stepped out of line and yelled, “that’s not what I said.”

Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving.