March 22 Humor

* The politician was pretty pumped since he felt he had delivered a wonderful stump speech that was educational and motivational. He looked out over the audience and asked, “Are there any questions?” One man in the rear raised his hand and asked, “Who else is running?”

I was flattered when my son asked me to make a loaf of bread for him to share with his buddies. The bread came out a lot flatter than I had hoped, but my son was happy to get it and take it out to his buddies. A little later I looked out on my son with his catcher’s mitt, standing over my bread. They were using it for home plate.

@ A famed explorer was captured by savages in the wilds of South America. They were dancing around him in preparation for the kill when an idea struck the explorer–he would awe them with “magic.” From his pocket he took a cigarette lighter. “See,” he said, “I am a fire-maker!” And with a flick of his thumb, the lighter burst into flame. The savages fell back in astonishment. ““Magic! ” cried the explorer in triumph. “Sure is,” replied the chief. “Only time we ever saw a lighter work on the first try.”