May 23 Humor

 * It is a lawyer eat lawyer world out there, which explains why companies have saddled their products with ridiculous warnings. Case in point, I opened the package of Dr. Scholl’s “Freeze Away” a product that removes warts. Inside was a 12 page manual with tiny print. On page 3 it had the following statement: “Do not use if you cannot see clearly enough to read the information in the information booklet.”

 * An attorney and his five-year-old son were strolling through the mall. When a woman wearing a cervical collar walked by, the boy exclaimed, “Look, Dad it’s a plaintiff.”

 # My brother and his wife started their family in their early 40s. One day my sister In law and I were commiserating about the effects of time marching on. “I just got my first pair of glasses,” she said, just as two preschool boys thundered past her. “Now, if only my hearing would go.”